As mums, we often carry an immense weight. From the moment we become pregnant, the responsibility of bringing a new life into the world is profound. That weight only grows as we become deeply concerned with our children’s health, well-being, education, and happiness. It’s a heavy burden to feel responsible for who our children become.
But here’s where we must shift our focus: the most important life we need to care for is our own. When we look after our well-being, it has a ripple effect, naturally benefiting our children. Our emotional, physical, and mental health plays a significant role in shaping the environment in which they grow. This doesn’t mean we give less time or attention to them — instead, it means offering them our best, healthiest selves. Here are five mindful practices that can help mums feel calmer, more connected, and better equipped to navigate the daily demands of parenthood.
- Nurture Yourself as You Nurture Them
Taking care of ourselves as mums isn’t about putting ourselves first or neglecting our children — it’s about doing both at the same time. Our self-care happens in tandem with the care we provide for our children. As we give them our time, energy, and love, we simultaneously nourish our own well-being. It’s not a matter of a shared experience.
When you hug your child, feel the warmth and comfort of that hug for yourself too. When you teach them valuable life lessons, let those moments of connection fulfil you as well. Parenting becomes an opportunity for growth and healing for both you and your child. By loving ourselves in the very act of nurturing them, we build a sense of calm, joy, and balance that benefits everyone. This mindful approach allows us to offer them our healthiest, most present selves without losing sight of our own needs.
2. Embrace Playfulness and Joy with Your Children
We sometimes forget the childlike curiosity, playfulness, and joy we once had. Our children can be wonderful mirrors, reminding us to reconnect with these qualities. Laugh with them, be goofy, and rediscover the sense of wonder you had as a child. Engaging with your children in this way not only strengthens your bond but also allows you to experience the joy of living in the moment.
It’s about pausing and embracing the present, which in turn helps you feel calmer. Remember, your children are not only learning from your guidance but also from how you live your life. Show them that it’s okay to prioritise joy, even amid life’s challenges.
3. Cultivate Calmness Through Acceptance and Gratitude
One of the most powerful ways to cultivate calmness is through acceptance. We often feel stressed when we resist the present moment. But by embracing where we are now and who we are today, we can release a significant amount of mental and emotional weight.
Gratitude also plays a key role in this. Shift your focus from what’s missing to what’s working in your life. Be grateful for the unique qualities your children bring, and cherish the little moments that make up your days together. Acceptance and gratitude don’t just reduce stress—they also remind you that you’re doing enough, and so are your children.
4. Release Control and Let Go of Expectations
One of the biggest sources of stress for mums is the desire to control outcomes. We want to ensure that everything is perfect for our children, but the truth is, there are countless variables beyond our control. The more we cling to the idea of managing every detail, the heavier the emotional load becomes.
We can’t control what happens around us, but we can control our reactions and make choices that align with our values. Letting go of rigid expectations allows us to experience a sense of freedom and lightness, which can be transformative not only for us but for our children as well.
No two children are the same and it’s essential to celebrate their individuality. Trying to mold them into a version of what we think they should be only suppresses their unique talents and authentic self. Encourage their individuality, because the world needs people who are true to themselves, bringing their unique gifts into society. When we stop trying to shape them into a predefined version of happiness, they feel more free and we feel more peace.
5. Communicate Openly and Authentically with Your Children
One of the simplest, yet often overlooked, ways to strengthen family connections is through honest and open communication. Share your thoughts, feelings, and challenges with your children—not just in relation to them, but also about your life in general. This encourages them to open up as well.
However, this isn’t about giving lectures or imposing your worldview. Instead, ask them questions and listen intently. Through authentic conversations, you’re creating a space where they feel valued and respected. Let go of judgment and expectation, you’ll discover new depths to your relationships with your children.
A final thought
Parenting doesn’t have to be about perfection or control. It’s about striving to guide our children with wisdom, not worry. When we embrace this approach, we not only ease our own stress but also create a nurturing environment where our children can flourish and grow into their authentic selves. You’ll all thrive in an environment filled with love, support, and understanding, rather than fear or expectation.
By Lorena Bernal
This article was published in The Irish Independent
